"Every Picture Tells A Story"

I am guessing that whoever decided to place Danielle Smith's torso over the wheel wells of the Alberta Wildrose Party's tour bus may not get a shot at being the new Transportation Minister of Alberta any time soon.

Quite frankly, given the tone of the Alberta Wild West Party, I am surprised we didn't see a set of truck nuts hanging from the trailer hitch...

If history serves me correctly, painting a mural of yourself on the side of a boogie van was risky business at best, but placing a seven foot image of yourself over a set of Michelins likely wouldn't make the news... Mind you, I never saw a set of wheels like that on Sonny Pruitt's rig...

If past Liberal Leader, Michael Ignatieff's Greyhound bus problems were any indicator of what's to come for the Wildrose party, screwing up her bus detail may leave Danielle Smith with a tough road ahead.

In Michael Ignatieff's case, a big picture of his pumpkin was not pasted all over the side the Liberal Express when it began losing oil on its maiden voyage.  Unfortunately for Ignatieff and the Liberals, the leaking just never stopped and their Federal campaign went downhill from that point on.  Rumor has it, the beleaguered Liberal Express is now parked in front of Bob Rae's neighbor's house waiting for Rex Murphy to drop by and try to fix it... 

The original version of the Wildrose Party's "Loose Wheels Bus Tour"  had Danielle's picture plastered on the side of the vehicle; and if you really looked hard, you might be able to construe the tires and hubcaps on the 18 wheeler as her breasts...  This could be likened to the guy who wakes up to see an image of Jesus Christ on his slice of Wonder Bread as it comes out of the toaster.  The media was on the story, and Danielle had some free publicity if she wanted it.  I think she should have left it, laughed it off, and told the boys down at Maaco to leave it be.  But if an upstart party plans to knock off the incumbent, the image of the Wildrose Party must be important, so it's hard to imagine why Danielle wouldn't have taken 10 minutes to check out her new rig before taking delivery...

The opposition jumped on the story immediately and said, if the Wildrose can't design a bus, they can't run a government....

To that I would say, Ed Stelmach couldn't organize a two-car parade and was still running Alberta from 2006 to 2011--right into the ground mind you.. and Alison Redford was at his side, after being elected to the Party in 2008, to become both Justice Minister and the Province's Attorney General. Where was she during the Stelmach fiasco?  

I am sure when Ralph Klein, Alberta's last legitimate Premier, was pushed out, his parting advice to Ed Stelmach on running the Province would have been, "Eddy, don't rev the engine and don't play the music to loud and you will be just fine..."

Captain Eddy didn't even get the "Good Ship Conservative" out of port before running it onto the rocks ... Before the boat had time to completely sink, the same crew responsible for the wreck of the Edward FitzStelmach elected First Mate, Alison Redford to take them to safety.  Once at the helm, realizing the party had ruined the Province's resource business, destroyed the Health Care System, and gutted Education, she did, of course, what anybody else would have done;  and she threw herself a Kardashian...the most fabulous and expensive Coronation in the history of the Province...This was a little tough to take given Steady Eddy had left the Province running a deficit for the first time in 16 years.

Then Premier Redford opened up the Provincial Bar and started serving food and drinks to all the passengers on board in hopes that they would forget about how bad it was when Ed ran the SS Alberta aground.  She has followed up in true Napoleonic style, deployed her political rival, Gary Mar, to Asia for awhile then recently brought him home, suspended his pay, and is now feeding him to the media sharks.

Its not going to be an easy election for the Conservatives this time around, but it also doesn't mean the Wildrose is going to have a walk in the park either. We just saw the loosest wheel on the Wildrose Party, Paul Hinman, demand he should keep the money from all his efforts on the Standing Committee on Privileges, Elections, Standing Orders and Printing (the "no-meet" committee) and then some.  Hindman also thought Albertans owed him tens of thousands, if not $100,000, in back pay.....Ooops

 I am sure Danielle and the other Wildrose Alliance Members who refunded their fees, went and tied up Hinman in a basement and reminded the MLA that this was probably not such a good move since his own boss, Danielle was using this tasty bit of f0dder to put the heat on the competition for their lack of judgement. 

  The Calgary MLA later, issued a statement offering a heart-felt apology which was too little too late after the horse was out of the barn...Perhaps the best thing Danielle could have do to improve the Wildrose Party Bus is to thank MLA Paul Hindman for all he has done for the Party and drop him off at the next bus stop and let him keep his earnings...

Redford forced her Party Members to return the money paid after her taking office in 2008, which has been reported to be around 12 percent in the National Post... Instead the Lacombe-Ponoka MLA, Ray Prins, who was Chairman of the so-called 'do-nothing' committee, announced he is not seeking re-election, as his "integrity" had been called into question.... He then tripped and fell in a lifeboat... 

It should also be noted that Liberal Leader, Raj Sherman (a former PC MLA), returned over $40,000 in back pay with interest. This sounds like a guy Ignatieff could have used to stop the leak...

As for the repainted Wildrose bus, it pretty much the same as the old one to me... only now Danielle, you are covering up part of the Provincial Emblem...   

 

 

 

Comments

[Jaeson Cardiff (@Canuck_Plumber)]

You sir are one funny man.

[Lori (The wrong one)]

Sorry Dan I went on a holiday just as you published, so no time to comment on the latest until now. Let me just express my incredulity about the new movie playing in Alberta called "Right and Righter". It is definitely a re-hash of a plot I've seen before and I keep getting the stars confused with each other. I think I'm going to want to wait for this one to hit Movie Central. I have never in my adult life been less inclined to vote and apparently I could even actually vote for Ms. Right (since she's the incumbent in my constituency). I don't want to though. I like the idea of the Alberta Party, but no one talks at all about them. What to do?

[dan]

Thanks Lori. It appears many people are feeling the same way.... I am going with Ann Romney...